we are not special

Nearly everyone in this world think they are unique and special. What I mean is on the aspect of capability.

几乎所有人都认为自己在这个世界上是独特的，这里我们说的是能力层面。

To explain it, maybe the best example is the state when people first begin to invest in stock market. I still remembered the feeling when I first contacted with the stock. “I can earn money from it” was the initial idea in my mind even I knew little about the investment then. Actually, I knew clearly that almost people failed in the stock market. And the statistical data displayed that only 10% people can earn money from it. I believed this conclusion. But it doesn’t matter because I was different from the others.

为了解释这个观点，我们不妨看看人们在股市上的表现。直到现在我依旧记得我第一次接触股市时的感觉，“我能赚到钱的”，即使那时我对投资所知甚少。实际上，我清楚地知道大多数人炒股时是亏了钱的，统计数据也表明只有大约10%的人能从中获益。我相信这个结论。但没关系，因为我和其他人不一样啊！

And the outcome, as you can guess, I failed and didn’t become the remaining 10% people. Still, I won’t realize that I am normal just like anyone else in the world.

结果你可能猜出来了，自然的，我也同样亏钱了，并没有像我自己想象的，我成了那10%的人。

“know yourself ” is a famous motto inscribed on the temple of Delphi in Greece and the Greek and later philosophers liked to quote to exhort people. But to be honest, it’s too difficult.

“认识你自己”是是铭刻在希腊圣城德尔斐神殿上的著名箴言，希腊和后来的哲学家喜欢引用来规劝世人。但说实话，真的很难。

古希腊先贤(图片来自网络)

Generally, we can barely find the appropriate positions of ourselves not only in the workplace but also in our life. Because we just can’t realize the reality and ourselves due to the blind understanding and prejudice towards society and ourselves. That’s why it’s wise for us to deliver a short message to your superior about what exactly you are doing recently every week in order to rectify your direction.

一般情况下，我们很难在工作和生活中准确定位自己，限于我们对外在世界和内在自我的盲目和偏见。这也是为什么职场中一个很聪明的做法就是每周给自己的上司提交一份简单的自己本周所做的事的书面文档。如此，一方面老板能知道你在做什么，同时，也能及时给你纠偏。

So next time maybe firstly you need to put yourself at the average level to measure the possibility when you need to make a decision. For example, You plan to get married after you get the doctorate and you need predict how long you could get the doctorate. Maybe the best answer is the average statistical length of time for a doctoral degree in your major rather than the four year you take it for granted even three years other people compliment on you. This is not a underestimate of yourself. On the contrast, it’s a objective positioning between us and the external world.

所以下一次如果你要做决策时，首先不妨将自己视为平均水平，以此评估这件事的可能性。比如，你计划博士毕业后就结婚，这个时候你要估计你多久能拿到博士学位了。也许最准确的时间就是你这个专业历届师兄师姐毕业时间的平均值，而不是你自己想当然的四年，更不是别人随口说的三年。

To know ourselves is a long-term journal of our life and maybe realize that you are not unique is the first step. And It’s so difficult to overcome the feeling that we are special. When Steve Jobs was young , he thought he was special. But that was not the case. The special feeling rooted in his heart just stem from his father when he realized he was adopted. He run to his adoptive father to ask if he was adopted and he father said yes, and told him it’s OK because you are special. And I just can’t figure out the source that his father believe his son was special. Probably it’s just a consolation.

认识自己，进一步认识到我们自己并不独特，是我们这一生的漫长历程。因为我们很难克服自己内心的盲目认同。乔布斯小时候一直认为自己很“独特”，但他真的很特殊吗？其实，他对自己很特殊的认识很大程度上来源于他的养父。当他茫然失措地跑去问他的养父自己是不是被亲生父母抛弃时，他的养父认真严肃地告诉他，“你确实是被领养的，但没关系，你很特殊”。但在乔布斯的传记中，我并没有发现乔布斯的养父说乔布斯很特殊的原因，他的特殊，很可能只是养父的一个安慰而已，或者仅仅是他的一个主观感觉而已，不管多么认真。（当然，这个例子中的“特殊”主要是情感层面，不是能力层面的。）

So, we are not special. Then it’s the time for us to evaluate the difference between you and other people.

所以，我们并不特殊。只有做到这一点后，我们才可以在此基础上评估自己和他人的具体差异。