How to be sad

We all want to course to be happy.But the strange thing about being properly happy is tat it's a state that requires us to learn and regularly practice a slightly odd sounding related skill:knowing how to be sad.

Everyday a lot of stuff happens to us which is one way or another pretty hurtful.Someone doesn't call, someone says no, a project isn't going to work out. You'd think we then just spontaneously feel sad for a bit and that would be the end of it. But that's not, it seems, how many of us actually work. 

Frequently our minds which are squeamish by nature rigorously shut out unfortunate negative feelings and go into a state of what psychologists called denial, where difficult but true information is refused access. We may as a result of burying out feelings develop a number of symptoms.

We can't sleep, bits of our bodies start a twitch, we develop an addiction or there's another option. We became extremely surely not happy as such, but brittle and insistent in a fake kind of upbeatness, the sort of happiness that can't tolerate any sadness.

We need to be sympathetic. The origins of jolliness are pretty painful. They're often to do with having had a parent or early caregiver who for one reason or another couldn't tolerate problems or any difficulties. They were perhaps or any difficulties. They were perhaps depressed or otherwise fragile, so quite early to on the manically jolly person got into the role of being an upbeat cheerleader.Not because they were but because they had to be. Pain is, of course, horrible thing to feel, but because it is a part of our reality we need to have the courage to allow it to work its way properly through our system. We need to learn to feel the pain of our lives authentically before its joys can feel real as well. Pushing problems aside is deeply tempting but our pleasures will only feel authentic when we've first given the pain all space it truly deserve in our lives.

——文章来自【天天练听力小程序】，觉得文章寓意深刻，非常治愈我，特此手动敲打下来作为纪念。